A Five Fingered Change

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I was that kid, ya know? The one that had friends from all different groups of people. I just..I tended to float away from people quickly besides those who stuck with me. I moved out of Texas and into Missouri when I was 9. I left everything I had known with my family to move to a better place. For 8 of the 11 years I have been here, I was bullied and put down because of my freckles and..because I’m gay. I have friends now and had the same friends then, that supported whoever I was, so long as I was happy.

Soon enough after I was outed in front of people I didn’t want knowing, I became beyond pissed. They had been messing with me for stupid reasons and they thought it would get to me and I would break. I did break. I broke a lot of people. The people who hurt me, every single one of the five people that caused most of the rumors and started most of the sexuality shaming, I fought. I fought all of them. I did break. Just not the way they were expecting. I have been three years clean of cutting, and I haven’t attempted since my freshman year of high school. My story is rough. And my knuckles weren’t too happy about any of it at the time. But I did what I thought would fix the problem. Obviously it did not, because violence isn’t the key.

Instead, we were all placed in a room, with a teacher present, and told to talk everything out. And we did, we talked everything out and some of us ended on okay notes and others never wanted to talk to me again. Which is fine, but one guy, J, he truly changed. We both did. We both realized that there wasn’t any way that fighting with your fists was always the answer. The answer relied on those who are willing to sit down, and talk face to face. We were all forced to do it. But it worked and now, 2 years have gone by, I graduated in 2018, and all those people who chose to hurt me, are friends with me on Facebook and follow me on other apps and we still talk like we did at that group meeting.

‘Cause violence isn’t the answer. It’s the words after that make so much more of a difference, than choosing to spread anger and hate. I chose. I chose to talk it out. Now, I’m helping others in my community do just that, and solve their problems by talking it out. Violence isn’t necessary when you treat others the way you’d like to be treated.