Abby’s Story

· LGBTQ+, Military, Stories · Vanessa HoldenLeave a Comment

Real Life Stories

Meet Abby: Mom, Wife, Military Member and LGBTQ+ Advocate

Submitted as part of our Do Ask. Do Tell. Cause Campaign. Read More →

Q. What is your role within the military and how long have you served?

A: I have served 15 years as a security forces (military police) member.

Q. Why did you choose to serve in the military? What brought you down this path?

A: My mom helped get me on the path because I didn’t really know what to do with my life. Being in the military helped give me the guidance and discipline I needed to succeed in life.

Q: What is it like being part of both the LGBTQ+ community and military community?

A: Both communities are so welcoming and so supportive! Our children have many ‘aunts and uncles’ all over the world in both communities and we have so many friends that we can call family whom we can lean on.

Q: What is the most rewarding and challenging part of being a LGBTQ+ military family?

A: I don’t really think our sexual orientation really matters in how rewarding or how challenging being in the military is.  While we do feel lucky that we are able to be married and have all the same benefits as everyone else, having a family and being in the military still has its challenges with finding a balance between work and home and we feel that just like our military straight friends/family.

Q: How did you feel and what did it mean to you when transgender military personnel, members of both the LGBTQ+ community and military family, were being dismissed after the transgender military ban?

A: In my personnel opinion, an Airman does their best when they are fully able to be themselves, their authentic selves.  I hope as our military moves forward that can be embraced again.

Q: How did military personnel react to the ban?

A: I cannot personally speak on how others reacted,  and I also did not know anyone personally affected but in my opinion it felt like there were those within the military who would be affected because of it.

Q: What will it mean to you when the transgender military ban is reversed?

A: It would be amazing if it is reversed in my opinion because it would mean that we would have more Airman living in their truth ready to dedicate themselves to the service of their country.

Q: What will the reversal of the transgender military ban mean for our country?

A: It would mean in my opinion that those military members would be more beneficial in our services because they are able to live authentically.

Q: How can the community support LGBTQ+ individuals that are currently service members in our armed forces or veterans?

A: Just that being LGBTQ is not all we are. And there are still some members who are still in the closet. Being ready to listen and support is the biggest thing especially when a military member becomes a veteran and adjusts to civilian life.

Q: What does the phrase “Only Human” mean to you?

A: To me it means, at the end of the day, every thing else, all the other labels don’t matter. What matters is that I have the right to live and love just like everyone else.


Follow along with Abby 👉 @abbysrollercoasterlife