Becoming just me!
I always felt different. I felt like a tomboy. Wanted to do boy things. Didn’t like all fuss of dresses etc. I grew up in North West Ohio. I didn’t really realize it could be different. My whole life I was teased that I was gay. I’m a very affectionate person though. I got married and moved to Boston! I was an air force wife! Loved it. It’s a conflicting when you feel conservative and love the rigidness of the military life! I became friends with Bekka. She was gay, shocking lol. She became one of my best friends. The feelings seemed different though. We hung out. We talked a lot. And she said I think you’re gay. Or at least you like women, and that ok! It was the lightbulb!
I struggled. I loved my husband. He was great, and is a great man! He came home on my 25th birthday to me crying in our bed. He said “what’s wrong?” What was wrong? I finally said I think I like women. But to me all I could do was release. Say it. It did not dawn on me we have to get divorced. With that just vomiting out of my mouth he said “I need a drink!” We went to the garage so he could smoke and have some whiskey. He was soo supportive. So that’s my original coming out story!
But wait there is part 2! I met my wife in Jan 2015 and married her in March. In May 2016 I had our first son and in June 2018 she had our second son! I am more masculine or “butch.” Well I struggled after pregnancy with my body. It hates change and I lost inches, but weight just couldn’t. And I had that belly from the C section. I finished breastfeeding and decided to get a reduction. It helped at first. Until about 2 weeks ago. My wife pushed and pushed. She said I always talked about transitioning. So I admitted I wanted to get top surgery and take T. From the waist down I was fine being a girl. But it was that waist up. I didn’t like how my shirts fit. I didn’t like dressing up, but feeling like my shirts were tight or baggy because of my breasts. Within that week of realization I also lost my best friend to cancer. Before she passed I had her mom read a text to her. She gave me the courage to have part 2. She passed away at the age of 34. We need to love and live our lives as ourself. Be happy. Encourage others!
That’s my story. I’m starting hormones. Being I guess what we call non binary, but with female pronouns, presenting masculine! I am just starting my journey and will document on My Instagram fitness and health-mental health!
Thank you for listening!