I’m upset that the queer experience isn’t seen by more people as normal or natural. I’m sickened that we, as individuals and as a community, are still being shamed and hated and disowned and killed in every corner of the world because we are who we are. I’m disheartened that we can’t freely be who we are and Love who we Love no matter where we go. I’m frustrated that, because we still live in a world wherein the normative experience is cis-gendered and heterosexual, we still have to use the phrase “coming out.”
I never had a huge coming out moment and I don’t want one. I want what all humans want: to kiss who I want to kiss and like who I want to like and Love who I want to Love. Knowing what type of person I want to kiss and like and Love, however, hasn’t always been clear. I’ve always been attracted to women, I’ve always thought men were cool, and I’ve enjoyed dating men, but I didn’t begin outwardly showing interest in and dating women until I was in college. Five years later, here’s what I’ve found: I don’t just think women are cool (like I think men are cool), I don’t just enjoy them. I don’t just like them. I freaking Love them.
I Love dating women. I feel more at home with women. Women make more sense to me, and this is something I can’t get out of my head: women just make more sense to me. This thought doesn’t escape me. It’s always, always, always on my mind and I’m coming to understand this is all I need to know.
Frankly, I’m so tired of talking about this…of trying to figure out where I fit in this community. I’m exhausted. I’m sick of feeling insecure about this part of my identity. I don’t know what label fits. Some people have a label they Love. Cool for those people. I’ve been dying to be one of those people for the longest time but it’s clear to me now that I’m just not. Call me queer, call me gay, call me whatever you want, just don’t call me straight. I guess it’s true what they say. These labels are for you – not me – anyway.
This raw and beautiful story was shared by a human named Hallie