Sarah and I met in college in ’04. We were drawn to each other pretty instantly and like all good lesbian relationships, three days later, all my stuff was at her place… But here’s the catch … We were girlfriend/boyfriend. Fast forward a year and a half… We were mid-first year teaching, and newlyweds. Four years later, we were a hetero-presenting couple with two beautiful sons… Still teaching. Now it’s 2009 and we have two children, living the American dream… When Sarah starts buying some feminine clothes, just in private at home and I’m like, “Meh, whatever.” Fast forward again, the feminine clothes are taking over Sarah’s dresser, and I too started struggling with my identity but was terrified to let anyone know… After all, I was happily married! One night in 2016, I finally got the courage… I rolled over in bed and I told Sarah I was gay… She told me she was transgender. That was when everything changed. Whoa. All along I was married to a woman and didn’t realize it. That’s why we clicked. She was always feminine even before she transitioned. That’s probably what drew me to her fifteen years ago.
Sarah’s currently two years into her medical transition and thankfully, we’ve had nothing but positive interactions with people. We’ve lost very few friends and only a few family members that we didn’t really have a relationship with in the first place. Our boys, now nine and eleven, are thrilled to have two moms now and are proud to tell just about anyone about their unique family. Our marriage is stronger than ever and our teaching careers are even stronger than before. We’re both GSA sponsors at our schools (mine, a middle school and Sarah’s, a high school). Our schools have been SO supportive. We truly are so lucky. Our mission now, is to be a resource for others that might be in our position from three years ago.
When we started our journey, there were no success stories that we could find online… No marriages that stayed intact, no families with children already, and especially no one who transitioned male to female in a public school in a red state, and managed to keep their jobs. We love to be visible, positive people that can inspire others to just be themselves. Before this journey I had a hard time believing in soulmates. How could there be only one person in the entire world we are meant to be with? This journey has definitely made me question that. Sarah is my true soulmate. We’re better together.
In my Instagram bio is a longer version of our story that I wrote for Love What Matters, later to be picked up by Parents magazine.
Story submitted by Jenni.