I Always Feel Like I'm Coming Out

Change is constant and so is coming out when you’re LGBTQ+, whether that’s to family or friends, at work or school, or even to that random stranger who asks you what your “husband” might think. It doesn’t matter, the default is typically straight.

My first coming out was to myself. I remember crying to my friend about the realization. How was my life going to change? Was family going to accept me? Did I accept me?

When I came out to my mom and sister I was 23. I felt pressured to talk to her (my mom), to let her know who I was. I don’t even know where the pressure comes from to “come out” but it’s there. She did not seem thrilled. The conversation was awkward and difficult. But she ended up coming around, quickly. I realize that is not everyone’s story and it breaks my heart.

Every time I start a new job, move to a new town, or even eat at restaurants it always feels like I’m coming out. I really do hope for a day where straight is no longer the default, where it’s normal to ask for pronouns, and where we are all just more understanding of one another’s differences.

How was your coming out experience? Who did you come out to first?