Learning

I was 26 when I came out to my mom as transgender. And it wasn’t an easy thing.

My mom didn’t understand how her “daughter” of twenty six years could come out as her son. And mind you I had already given birth to three children, and by the end of 2016 I was due to have my youngest daughter in December of 2017. I struggled to explain everything because I was just now learning that there was even a name for what I was feeling, let alone a whole freaking community of people out there who kind of knew in one way or another how I felt. I had always known about the LGBTQ but never really knew about them. And I had always been an advocate and an ally for them and the allies. But at 26 knowing I finally had a name to this feeling I had my whole life. Well it made sense.

So here I am 26 coming out to my mom who is suuuupper Roman Catholic, btw. And all she can say is “well are you sure”? And “what about your kids, what will they think?” and just typical things of that nature. I went to all of my doctor appointments alone. The father of my daughter on the way was nowhere around, and I was fighting and arguing with my mother. Joy! Not.

The more I read and learned the more everything made sense. And the more I found myself seeking out other transgender individuals who could maybe help and guide me. I watched most of who called themselves my friends walk away from me. And a few of them went as far to say my kids would be better off with a dead parent than a transgender parent. Yeah, and these were people I had known for ten years at least. I dove hard into teaching my kids about how everyone is different and some people are born in the wrong bodies. How everyone deserves to be loved and all the education I could.

I am now twenty nine. I’ll be 30 this year. My son, my daughter and my youngest daughter all love me and feel no hate or I’ll will against me. My mom is slowly warming up and even added me as her son on Facebook, which was an extremely hard but important thing to do for herself to see that I am always going to be her baby no matter what. I have my own group on Facebook, I am an ordained minister, and I do all the advocacy I can for my whole community. I even wrote a few state reps this year about the new transgender bill we are facing in my home state of South Dakota.

I joined OH because I want to further my advocacy and I want to be able to help people and give everyone, no matter who or what, a voice when they feel they have none. I want to show my children and future generations that everyone deserves someone who cares.