Running From Myself

In hindsight, there were signs across my entire childhood that I was different. That I was gay. Despite the fact that my sexuality was always right behind me, on the verge of being discovered. It took me until I left for college to realize that I was attracted to women. I seemed to ignore this part of myself despite it incessantly tapping on my shoulder, wanting me to turn around and listen.

It wasn’t until I had my first kiss which was with a woman, that my sexuality could no longer be ignored. It was like a bomb went off in my head. I ran away (yes literally ran away) as I was suddenly so full of emotion. I felt quite a bit of fear but more importantly, an overwhelming sense that I had just found myself. That I had found the missing piece to my puzzle. I knew I always felt different, but had pushed it to the back of my mind.

Out of sight, out of mind right?

For years after this, I had trouble being proud of who I was, but after gradually letting my true self shine and finding my people, I can say that I am proud of who I am. With every shred of acceptance and love from friends and family, I felt more and more comfortable allowing myself to be seen and heard as my true self. I stopped running away from my truth and turned around to embrace it.

This story was shared by a human named Tarissa