This Is Me

This Is Me
Name: Chan Smith
Pronouns: She/Her
Instagram: channingsmithh

All of my life, I’ve known that I’ve been attracted to the same gender. Even when I was a little girl, in kindergarten, I knew I was different. I grew up in church, with everyone telling me being gay is wrong, it’s a sin, you don’t need to be gay, etc. From my entire family as well, they have always bashed the LGBTQ+ community.

I was afraid to say anything and I was afraid to be who I am freely. For the majority of my life, I hid who I was from a lot of people. One day I was tired of hiding. I didn’t care what others thought. I didn’t care who I lost and who stayed. I just desperately wanted to be me, truly me.

So I woke up, I posted on twitter on February 3rd of 2019 telling everyone I was gay. After that, I slowly told everyone around me. I lost a lot… My family is horrible to me still to this day, but I would not change a single thing of who I am or how I’ve turned out. It has led me to INCREDIBLE people and my recently turned fiancé, Morgan.

As of March 27th of this year, I get to call Morgan my fiancé and I couldn’t be happier or more excited about that. From the moment I met her, I truly knew I wanted to be with her forever. She has been everything I’ve hoped and asked for and more. I’m very very lucky.

What does pride me to me?
Pride to me means proud, and free, and happy, and love! It reminds me to have pride in who I am and who I actually am regardless of who disagrees or hates me for it. I’m proud every single day of who I am and the community I’m a part of. I feel like for the whole LGBTQ+ community, it’s the time we can all celebrate who we are and what we’re proud to be.

Mental health is something I’m very passionate about. For about 12 years now, I’ve been diagnosed and have had to deal with depression, while for about 5 years, I have also been diagnosed and dealing with anxiety. I’ve been in the darkest places and I’ve also had my highs. I know how it feels to struggle. I know how it feels to be alone and to feel like you have nothing or no one. Why would I let anyone feel that way? I want to help people and let people realize that they can make it through the darkest lows that life can throw at you. I want to remind others that no matter what, do not give up on yourself. I want to be there for people who feel like there’s no one else to turn to. I want to be someone’s voice when they feel like their own voice is gone. I never want someone to go without somebody. I want to be there and be present when someone feels like their entire weight of their life is on them.

This is me! I hope this helps you learn about me, my life, and who I am as a human.

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