Cancer and Coming Out

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I knew I was gay the day I married my then husband. I knew and I burried it deep because being gay didn’t fit the life I saw for myself at that time. I wanted a baby and a home and a dog. The only way I thought I could have those things was to marry a man. I was 23 years old. Fast forward 15 year and I would stay up late after everyone had gone to sleep and look up ways in which other 30-something married moms came out.

It seemed impossible, outrageous, and selfish to break up my family. Then, I got my breast cancer diagnosis. I was 38 years old. It shook me to the core and I realized I did not want to spend one more day of my life hiding who I was. I came out to my husband that same day. The double whammy of my having cancer and being gay was too much for him. It was a lot of struggle and heartache the next 6 months as I went through cancer treatment and ended our marriage. It’s now two years later. I am 40 and healthy and I’ve never been happier in my life.