I take a sip from my fourth beer of the night, and look out onto the same sea of faces I had gotten so accustomed to seeing lately. I’m planted in the same corner of the same bar that I ended up at on most Saturday nights.
This bar (I’m not naming names—I know you’ll Google it) is my longest relationship to date. Lately, things between us have gotten a little too serious. Last Sunday, I woke up next to a full beer and a bag of Cheetos, and I smelled like an ashtray. To be honest, we’re not great together.
But like most bad relationships, I’m back for more. I just finished my fourth beer, and I’m listening to a girl I just met describe some of the things she does when she’s not out drinking. Somewhere between hearing about her recent promotion at a job she loves and fixing up the house she just bought, I realize something:
I’m not passionate about anything.
When was the last time I spent a night out sober?
Where did all of this extra weight come from?
Was there anything I really loved doing anymore?
My mind is racing. I can’t hear anything else around me.
I feel uncomfortable in my own skin—it’s not mine anymore. I’ve become that person without hobbies and interests. I have social outings, a case of beer, and dwindling health. That’s it.
I can’t say for sure, but I have a feeling my expression shifted from casual to complete horror in a single, fleeting moment. My sudden realization left me dizzy. This all had to change. I set down my beer, walked out of the bar and didn’t bother saying goodbye to anyone.
That night in the bar was nearly a year ago, and that version of myself seems lightyears away from where I am now. Twelve months of learning that diets are bullshit, patience is an acquired skill, sudden “motivation” is a lie, and after a while working “hard” doesn’t feel like working hard.
Eight months into this new lifestyle, I fell head over heels in love (a reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, World Series kind of love) and knew I couldn’t go without sharing what I’ve learned.
This website is here to share the experiences I’ve had getting fit, staying fit, and teaching anyone willing to listen how they can achieve their goals, too.