Endless thoughts

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I am a shy quiet person with not many friends. All my life I suffered with anxiety. I couldn’t go to school and I couldn’t travel with my parents on trips without feeling an anxious feeling. I always thought people looked at me at school and judged me because of how I was. I thought I didn’t deserve to be here because I was not okay. I always felt ashamed of who I was. I felt alone most times because I couldn’t talk to anyone or everyone thought I was okay. I was always hurting and trying to be myself. I saw many therapists that I really couldn’t talk to. I had thoughts of doing the wrong things to myself. One night I had texted my closest friend telling them how much I cared for them and I wanted to not be alive, but I couldn’t do it. My friends came to check on me and they told me I wasn’t alone and I had to talk to someone. So I talked to my therapist and well I had help to be okay to be me. I know now that I’m not alone and that I don’t have to hide or be afraid to be myself