I Swallowed My Pride (a poem)

· Experiences · Danielle ShepherdLeave a Comment

Video credit: Bree Pear

I swallowed my pride the other day
10 years of living in a closet and I’m good at hiding the colors
That make me who I am 
So that I won’t offend anyone who prefers
To see the world in monochromatic fear
 
I tried to come out once
But society told me I:
Couldn’t marry my best friend
Couldn’t get a job
Couldn’t get health care
Wouldn’t be safe out here
 
It’s just not safe out here
For humans like 
Her and ze and zim
And they and him and them
 
This wasn’t a world made for 
“The gays” 
Until corporations could make money off rainbows
Turn their logos into 7 colors
And their revenue into 7 figures
 
I figured, they just never learned about love in school
Maybe it’s because we forgot to teach that class
When I was learning about the the Civil War
In an uncivil high school 
Where the gay boy next to me got crammed into his locker
For swaying down the hallway so god damn beautifully
 
I tried to come out once
And they screamed - keep your rainbows to yourself
You Queer
You Fag
You Homo
They said
This place was never meant for the likes of you
So they tried to erase me
They pushed me out of their
Churches
Schools
Sports
Families
Lives  
 
My rainbow started to fade over time
From all the doors slammed in my face
The rejection letters stating to try again
In another lifetime
When I was ready to betray who I am
For everything they want me to be
 
I am only human, 
But In 69 countries It’s against the law for me to exist
In some I could be killed 
just for being me
 
And the straights shout - Where’s our pride?
When I’ve climbed up it all like a mountain since
They day I was born
Just trying to get a clear view
Of why we live in a country where
All beings were supposedly created equal
But my trans friends can’t play sports
 
I swallow my pride
Keep my colors inside
And I’m quiet on days it hurts to be 
Out and loud
But I’m still here
And queer
And every single day
I try my hardest to be proud
Of being me
Of being gay
Of being only human
Just like you
 
 
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