This is my coming out story. I was 18 and I had been dating the same guy for 3 years. Everyone just knew we were going to get married, but something didn’t feel right. He even knew I was interested in women. I identified to him as bisexual. Actually, even some friends all the way back to junior high knew I liked women, mind you, dating all the way back to elementary school, 5th grade to be exact I would get in trouble for kissing another girl on the bus or things they thought were for attention. They said, “just kiss your pillow if you feel a sexual urge, not girls..” Anyways, back to college. I was a huge people pleaser so it really came as a shock to my family when I broke up with my then boyfriend and shortly after started dating a women.
My parents did not approve. “I’ve seen the way you talk and make eyes at boys,” they said. “I’ve seen the way you flirt with boys,” they said. To be honest, I could and still can flirt my way out of/into any situation so this didn’t really mean much. Shortly after the girl and I broke up and many long conversations, and not talking to my parents I hung my head in agreement that this was just a phase. Secretly dating women, but only bringing home men to meet them. I would even correct my best friend when we would be out at bar and she would say I was gay.. I was living to make other people happy by putting my happiness at stake, and you can only do this for so long before you have a break. This went on for quite some time, actually.
It wasn’t until I met the most beautiful, blue eyed, freckled faced, blonde & curly haired babe…I knew this was a game changer. She and I dated for about a year, and my parents still didn’t approve until one day they called and said to bring her along for my 25th birthday. Actually, it a little more like.. “When would you like your birthday dinner?” And me answering with, “Is Jordan invited?” Anyway, they agreed and met her and everything was going great, until J and I decided we were getting married. I don’t know if they still that this was “a phase” or what but they, again, didn’t approve. We originally were going to have a huge wedding but after everything happening with my family we decided on a whim to elope to Colorado and be in the presence and love of our closest friends and family. All of my closest friends/chosen family showed up for me on the biggest day of my life and one of my best guy friends walked me down the aisle.
My family still doesn’t approve, and that’s okay. They are not involved because I believe in removing yourself from any situation that does not serve you. What I do have is my wife’s family, who are so supportive.. thanks to her and them for that! All of my closest friends/chosen family.. and I still have the most beautiful, blue eyed, freckled faced, brown & curly haired (she colored it😉) babe. Only four things have changed.. I am out of the closet (probably in the kitchen eating snacks), I have a WIFE, and a new last name. Most importantly, I took ownership of who I am and what I am worth. I am worth so much more than wrecking my self love, and self knowing to make others happy.