I have been an OH advocate for a while and this campaign is one that really hits home for me. I fell in love with a beautiful human in 2017. We hit it off as soon as we started talking. She was so opened minded and our conversations were never boring. I fell in love almost instantly. As days went by and we grew to know each other more and more, there was nothing I didn’t like about her. A month goes by and she finally tells me about her struggles with addiction in her past. I wasn’t sure what to think because I had never really experienced anyone in my life who had faced something like this.
But I listened and was supportive. I thought she was strong and brave to be able to share this with me and for her to beat such a hard thing like this in this world today. Couple months go by and I decided that I wanted more, so I took the leap and moved from Kentucky to Florida to be with her. I was scared and nervous but I knew she was what I wanted. Our lives were perfect! We lived near the beach and lived our lives fully. I just knew she was the one. So after short 8 months of being together, we got married! I was so happy!! A month later I saw my wife starting to change her mood, she seemed sad. After talking about it, we decided to move to West Virginia, so we could both be closer to our families.
Or at least I thought that was the reason… My wife was originally from the near by area and what I didn’t know was that her past was dragging her back to an unhealthy way of life. It took me almost a month to realize what was going on, until one day I found it. I was devastated and scared. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to handle it. I tried looking up stuff on the internet to better educate myself on how to deal with things but nothing could really prepare me for what was about to happen. I approached my wife and asked her to come clean with the truth. She finally told me everything and how it had been going on for the whole month we had been back. I was crushed. I knew it was gonna be tough to figure things out but I was determined to help her. I tried finding places to send her in the area but it was all to expensive for us at the time. Things just seemed to be going down hill. Nothing was going right for us. My wife lost her job, I was out of work, we had to move in with my family and our world was just crashing. I didn’t know what else to do to get her help.
I felt like I was failing as her wife because I couldn’t help her. I did things that I never thought I would do and I saw things I never thought I would see in my life. I couldn’t handle anymore. I couldn’t watch her do this to herself. So even though I knew it could destroy us, I reached out to her family. I knew they had dealt with it before and knew how to handle it. So that same day her dad came to get her and take her back to Florida to live with them. It was the worst day of my life. I wasn’t invited back to their home to live to help my wife through this which made everything more difficult. It was the worst day of my life. My wife was so mad that I told her family but I knew if she didn’t get help she was going to die. I loved her way to much to let anything happen to her. And even though it destroyed our marriage and we are no longer together, I don’t regret anything I did to help save her.
I now see a beautiful woman living her best life, healthy and with an amazing job. Even though she has moved on with her life, I am thankful that she is living and healthy. I’m now in a healthy relationship with an amazing beautiful woman and I couldn’t be happier. My ex wife and I have a good relationship and remain friends. Everything in life happens for a reason. I am forever thankful she is apart of my life still and that I was placed in hers to bring her to this point in both our lives.
Be humble! Addicts are not all criminals, they are not all bad people, they are HUMANS, brothers, sisters, mothers, wives, husbands, and they just need love and caring people in their lives to show them they matter. To anyone who is struggling with a spouse or any person in their life who has an addiction, do whatever you need to do to get them help. Even if it means losing them in your life. Save theirs! Thank you to everyone who read my story. I’ve never publicly talked about this to people but I felt like my Only Human family was the best place to share. I hope it helps someone else in similar situations.
Story submitted by Mel