It will get better even though it doesn’t seem like it. The world needs you around and even though you can’t see that light at the end of the tunnel or that finish line you’re trying to reach, it’s there and there are people at the end of that tunnel and on the other side of the finish line waiting for you.

When I was 16, 17, and even now I struggled with a lot of loss in my life. Somewhere around 20 people died over 3 years. This year as an 18 year old has by far been one of the roughest because I lost my closest friend to suicide. On October 28, 2020, I found out my best friend and teammate Zoë Rodgers was missing and then the next day I found out she killed herself. I have this saying that goes like “The happiest people are also the saddest people”. This is true in this situation because she was the happiest, most-caring, selfless, and amazing human being ever to walk this Earth. Whenever I felt sad or down, she’d notice (which is surprising because I conceal my feelings pretty well and don’t confide in many people). The day before I tried to kill myself she said to me “Keep your head up, never down because you belong in this world and you’re important”. This really stuck with me because obviously I am still living, but sadly she isn’t.

Recently I have been going through a pretty rough time and have been considering suicide again, but then I think of all the people who will miss me and of my sister whom I want to be there for. And now, I come to you telling you not to do it not because of me or anyone else, but for yourself and the life you could have not the one you do have. Do it for the people who have succeeded in killing themselves and live for them. Everyday I live for the people I have lost and I try to stay optimistic and live for them. Do the same… live for yourself and others. If you ever wanna talk, dm me and I will answer.

Also side note, I am lesbian/ gay or whatever you wanna call it. I know what it’s like to feel alone. If you ever need someone I am here.

This story was submitted by a brave human.

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