I have been through a lot through my whole life! Why I’m telling you all of this I do not know maybe so you can understand the person I am. I was born on September 22 1987; my sister was born October 16 1985. We were only two years apart. We did practically everything together! Yes we fought I mean what sibling doesn’t? My dad has been in and out of our lives, my mom has been married twice, been through a lot through my life but I they are my family and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in this world. I was only 13 when I was raped, haven’t told anyone before it just idk I thought maybe no one will believe me anyways I tuned 14 years old and I was just starting to well you know find myself. I experienced many things I kissed girls, kissed guys I tried to find myself. I loved country music but I went all out into a totally different person. Listened to nothing but rap and hung out with people who seemed like they cared about me but probably didn’t. I wanted so hard to fit into a world where I was noticed. See I wasn’t that pretty, popular, or noticed and so I would do things to get me noticed like give people money for lunch or just be nice and buy them thing, give them rides, did almost anything I could to have friends.
Well I was 16 when I met chanda, well through an ex and we became best friends, did absolutely everything together, we were inseparable. Then I ended up falling in love with her, well of course I was embarrassed because hey I didn’t think that was right for a girl and girl to be together, our friend Meagan would try to hook us up because she knew how we felt about each other well I still kept me and chanda a secret. (and in the mean time between all of this my sister had got pregnant and she had a beautiful daughter my Katie bug ) anyways, chanda loved Katie helped watch her helped change her, bathe her I was falling more and more in love with her but one thing was wrong I was still keeping her a secret, Well on night she ended up in the hospital and something became over me and I was like I need to show this girl how much I love her and how much she means to me not just to her but to everyone else in the world.
Well I did, that night I ended up leaving my house to be with her. I felt like my family wouldn’t understand. So I dropped out of school which I know now that was the biggest mistake I have ever made. Anyways chanda and I did a lot of things that maybe shouldn’t have happened. We stole stuff, we slept outside, and we went house from house, in and out of a family’s home. We didn’t really go about it the right way. Well one thing led to another and me and her ended up breaking up and she left me for Meagan.
Well of course that broke my heart, so I went off the deep in went to rehab for trying to kill myself and I ended up taking a car, I ended up in jail, I was in jail for 2 month. Through those two months I did a lot of thinking, thinking of my life what I been though what I wanted to become in the future and all of that I seriously thought about a bunch of stuff. Well I eventually got out and for once even though I was still torn up about chanda and I knew in my heart we would never be together again I knew I had to let her go, besides she was in love with Meagan at the time. I and her parents really never got along anyways, I was never approved by her family and well likewise, mine wasn’t too fond of her either. So I went on my own. Didn’t talk to her, didn’t give her a time of day. I was focusing on me. I had a job; I was on good terms with my family. Well until one night she my spaced me.
Well then of course my feelings starting coming back. So we sneaked behind my family’s back and saw each other and we wanted to be together again, but yet she was still with Meagan. Anyways we talked this whole night the Feb. 28, 2008. We talked THE WHOLE NIGHT. Wanting to get back together and everything well, she texted me the next morning saying she was about to leave her friend’s house to go back to Meagan and Meagan was picking her up. Well we talked on the phone and said goodbye she loved me and she probably wouldn’t be able to talk to me for a few days well, an hour after I got off the phone with her, which I didn’t find out till a day later. I got a my space message from her cousin saying hey Chanda died in a car accident. I didn’t believe it, I was like no way. Well ended up calling her dad and he said yes Teri its true, well you can just imagine how I was. Anyways my sister and I and her friend Anna went to the site where it happened and just stood there. Well I wasn’t myself for awhile, wanted to do nothing but be with friends, well we went to the funeral, she was cremated and well that turned out just like I knew it would, bunch of tears wanted to do nothing but drink. Well we went to an after party and her dads. There was a bunch of drinking and well drugs her dad was really in bad shape. Well my sister made me leave she didn’t feel comfortable being there. So we left and well after that I just didn’t care about life. Wanted to do nothing but be with friends drink. Well than I met an ex trace well that def didn’t turn out good. Wanted to do nothing but be with him I moved again out of my parent’s house and moved in with him at one of our friend’s house. Well we were only together 4 months probably less. We honestly weren’t together together, yeah we might have had feelings for each other but not like the feelings I have now with the certain someone I’m with now anyways Well I moved in with my sister, of course we fought on and off, hey we were sisters, then somehow I ended up going to my dad’s and my dad of course went back to jail and so I stayed with my granny well I was never at the house always off with friends. I ended up going to Leah’s house and (Wow this is like my life story I am telling but there’s a point in all of this at the end). Well I ended up going back to jail because I couldn’t pay my probation. Well went to jail for about 2 weeks. Got out and moved in with my sister and ken. Well when I was with Leah before jail I met Eric and we talked a little well when I got out of jail I texted him and we just started talking and then eventually I moved in with him and we dated for a year. Went through some ups and downs went through some bumpy roads. But hey we loved each other and so I kept staying and hoping things will get better. Well through all of that my sister got pregnant and had another daughter my kenzie Rae, well it was snowing one day and my sister texted me and said hey I got to work tomorrow and ken has to go and look for a job could you watch kenzie tomorrow and I was like sure, so she came and got me that night and I went over there, and well I didn’t hear from Eric at all he wouldn’t answer my calls or texts or anything.
Well next day, I got to Eric’s house and well that night he went outside and left his cell phone in the room and I don’t do this I am not a nosy person and trust people but for some reason I just had a feeling I needed to check his voice mail. Well he had no new messages but he had a saved one. From a girl named Erin. Well the voicemail said “hey I had a wonderful time last night we need to do it again sometime” well I just couldn’t believe it. So I left broke up with him and left never looked back. Well I’m not going to go into detail after detail with what I did every day after that let’s just say I was pretty torn up.
Well one thing led to another and Joe and I got together. Well in the meantime for the 4 months into our relationship my sister and her boyfriend ken had broken up and she moved in with Deanna her friend and well ken stalked them did things like text her saying you will never sleep at night and keyed the side of their cars and well she called the cops numerous of times and well they didn’t give a f*** and well tiffany was afraid to be by herself and so I would go over there like every day and she would text me every morning bored not wanting to be alone and well one morning I had to take Joe to the dentist and tiffany texted me saying hey what’s up and I was like sitting in the car waiting on Joe to come out of the dentist then I got to drop him off at work and I am going to go look for some jobs. And she goes well why don’t you do them on my computer they are mostly going to be on the internet anyways and I was like thinking to myself I really don’t want to but I texted her and I said okay that’s cool I’ll see you soon and she goes okay. Well I dropped Joe off at work and went to my sister’s apartment well I got there knocked on the door and she answered it and I got inside and she was getting ready because she had to go drop Katie bugs kindergarten packet off at her school. So I got inside and she showed me a bag with a torn up shirt that ken had done and left it in front of her door and I was like omg what a psycho and she goes I know right.
Well she got ready and she left and as she was leaving she goes lock the door and make sure you do not answer it at all we never know if it will be ken or not and so she went to the school and I watched kenzie and Well on her way home she called and said hey do you want anything to eat so I said sure so she picked something up from Wendy’s, she came home and well she came back and we hung out for awhile before she had to go get Katie so we talked laughed had fun just hanging out together. Well she eventually had to leave to go get Katie from day care. She came back and we hung out a little bit more and Deanna had came home and had her little break and then she had to go back to work well than Joe had called to say hey come get me from work. So while I was leaving tiffany goes hey are you coming back? I really don’t want to be alone, I’m seriously scared ken is going to come kill me well I was like well let me see what Joe wants to do he might want to go home and shower and changed before Katie’s came tonight and she goes okay. Well I got Joe and of course he wanted to go home and change and shower which I totally understood and so I texted her saying hey we will just see you at the game tonight Joe wants to shower and she goes that’s fine. So we eventually got to the game, left about 6:30 we left a little bit earlier and we went to Atlanta to a friend’s gig her dad was playing in a band. So just as we were leaving the ball park Joe tapped my sister on the shoulder and she turned around real fast and Joe goes hey we are leaving and my sister have both of us a hung and was like okay see yall later!! That moment I did not know that would be the last time I saw my sister.
On the way out of the ball park I told Joe I was like I feel something is wrong maybe we should follow tiffany to the apartments to at least make sure she got home safe, and he goes you really want to? And I was like well no I think she will be okay Deanna will be there and Well I didn’t really have a good time that night at the gig I just kept feeling like something was wrong. Anyways we had dinner we danced, we finally left. Got back to the house and turned my phone on silent so we can get to sleep since he had to work early. Well 6am came really early and Joe got up got ready for work and he got in his truck and left and I usually go back to sleep when he leaves but I had a feeling something was wrong.
So I checked my phone. I had 100 miss calls, 20 voicemails, and at least 30 texts. And I called my mom’s phone and I was like hey what’s wrong and my mom didn’t answer my aunt did and she goes Teri you need to get here right away. And I was like well Joe just left for work and she goes you need to tell him to come back and get you or we will come get you, so I called Joe and I was like hey something is wrong at home I need to go there and he came back and got me and I told him on the way to my mom’s house I was like I have a feeling Joe I have a feeling something happened to tiffany and he goes no Teri your just freaking out its probably a family member in town and I was like no I really feel like something is wrong. And of course being a boyfriend he was trying to think positive well I had a feeling in my gut what happened. And well I was right. On the way to my mom’s almost to her neighborhood, I had gotten a phone call, from one of my sister’s and I childhood friend. And she goes hey Teri how r u and I could tell in her voice she had been crying and I was like I am okay on the way to my mom’s house right now and she goes have you heard? And I was like heard what? And she goes heard about tiffany and I was like what about her and she goes ken shot her and I was like is she okay? And she goes Teri she didn’t make it!
Enough said you could just picture what happened next I lost it I threw my phone almost out the window accidentally threw it at Joe though and well of course Joe called out of work he wouldn’t feel right going to work when all this was happening and he stayed with me at my mom’s that day. And well we pulled up to my mom’s drive way and well she wanted to be the one to tell me! Well no one could find my dad and let’s just say I had to tell him so you can imagine how hard that was. Well days came and we went to the funeral and well I had so called friend face book me saying hey I am so sorry to hear about your sister our thoughts are with you and your family I will be here if you need someone to talk to and blah blah blah. Let’s just say I know now who my real friend’s are. The people that said when I needed them the most they were not there for me after they told me that. Anyways I didn’t do anything for weeks didn’t feel like living didn’t feel like doing nothing but giving up. Hey that was my only sister how would you feel? Anyways Joe at the time gave me strength to not give up he gave me a reason to keep on living and those reasons are: I have god, I have my family, my niece’s and I had him. And well even though I wanted to believe him so bad I just couldn’t see how anything could get better, well that whole year I went through some tough times up and downs tears and depressed and well I mean hey it’s only been a year since all of that happened, since than I’ve had 2 bad relationships I got pregnant had my son, had a miscarriage with my second pregnancy, met the most amazing person ever and I’m engaged 9 year later so here I am today still standing tall and still strong as ever. I have an amazing 5 year old boy, and an amazing fiance.
I guess the point in all of this, is yes I have been through a lot; I have had people come in and out of my life I have been depressed, I was over 200 pounds now I’m 105…I got called fat, i should die, i was disgusting, I have been through a lot, but yet am I still here? Of course I am, with everything I have been through what gets me through the day is I know I have god, and my child and the love of my life and I always know there is someone out there who has it worse off than I do. I will never ever know why Chanda and Tiffany were taking away from us so soon and I guess I will never ever know until it’s my time. But until then all I got is memories and there spirit. So no matter what you go through in life no matter how difficult your life seems, whether you are dealing with a loss, or a break-up, family problems, or other issues, just remember if people like me can still stand tall and still have the strength to be strong, so can you. Anyone can overcome anything that comes in their way; hey I did why can’t you? Whatever else throws at me throughout my life I will know I can get through it through Jesus! Just believe in him, know that he is there for you, he does love you. And it took me awhile to believe that saying, I was so mad at him for taking my sister away from me and for taking her away from her daughters also taking chanda away as well, I could not understand why, if he loves us why does he do things like this, but everything has a purpose and we will never ever understand why! And I hope they know I never would have made it this far on my own, Cause Where would we all be without those fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers, the friends we’ve made and the long lost lovers, I wouldn’t be who I am today, if not for those I’ve loved along the way!!!!!! I am strong and I will continue to be strong and try to overcome all the obstacles that come my way!!! And so can you!!!!!!!