Never Giving Up

In Pride, Stories by StoriesLeave a Comment

I am proud of my resilience & persistent. In October of 2017, I fell in love with a woman. Not a girl, a woman. My whole life I hid in the closet. My mother a strong Christian, and my father from the islands. I was afraid of my life of coming out, so I never did. I would wear clothes I felt uncomfortable in, so my hair in certain ways, present myself very feminine to keep my family at bay. All the time, I was very much gay. When I met her, everything changed. I wanted to live a normal life & not have to hide. My father is a lover of surveillance. He filled the backyard and outside of the house with cameras. One day, my girlfriend came by to surprise me. I was caught off guard, so happy to see her, we kissed and held hands. We went out that night and had so much fun. That night when I came back home, my father stood in front of the door with a knife. Demanding to know if I was gay, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to say no because I’ve had enough, but I also didn’t want to say yes because of the consequences. He took my silence for a yes, and tried to cut my face. I used my hand to block my face, and ended up having to get stitches. At the time, I worked as a dog handler, so having a split hand cost me my job. He changed the locks, kicked me out, and threw all of my things out of the window. I slept from couch to couch, sometimes outside. My girlfriends family was also homophobic so I couldn’t stay there.

I updated my resume in search of my passion, not just a job. My passion is dogs, dog training. I eventually landed a job as a certified dog trainer. It gave me access to a company vehicle. I lived and slept in my work car for 5 months.

On April 2nd 2018, I couldn’t take it anymore. Living out of a car is hard. I surrendered to a homeless shelter in Brooklyn New York. I was stressed out. Fighting for the shower, getting jumped, etc etc. I am also diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Being in the shelter took my disorder to a new extreme. The stress the pressure triggered me to got me so so down. I tried to commit suicide there twice and my mania pushed me to make bad decisions. The shelter is just like jail. In September of 2018, my girlfriend broke up with me. The stress of our relationship was too much. It was all just too much, so she chose to leave me for good.

I had a major breakdown. No family, no girlfriend, no purpose. On New Years Eve, I made a decision. To never give up the way others gave up on me. To never push someone away, throw them out, to get rid of them.

My pain turned into a plane, and I started to fly. I created my own dog training business called Quing Canine. It launched in February of 2019. I have over 100 clients and am preparing to make the full jump to work my own business full time instead of part time.

On May 3rd if this year, I finally got my own apartment. Although I still have no family or love life, I am happy to never give up on my clients. The dogs with issues. The dogs who need help. I will never give up. My experience has fueled me to become something greater.

Still gay. Still proud. And successful.

I was featured in the New York Times too: