Vulnerability…”the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.” WOW! Should anyone ever be or feel attacked? I don’t think so, but sadly it happens. What are we doing to change that? What can we do to change that? Better yet, WHAT CAN I DO TO CHANGE that? For the longest time, I continuously allowed myself to be compared to others, seek support, but then be told that I have to “do this and that” and then I would begin to change for the positive and be less vulnerable. To be honest, those (so to say) motivational words did not encourage me, they only made me feel worse. It wasn’t until I could finally commit to the fact that there was more work mentally that I needed to fix in order to become less vulnerable, no matter what that fix looked like.
I was always afraid of admitting that I needed professional help. I was afraid that my family, friends, partner (past and now present) would all look at me differently because I was seeking professional help. BUT, once I got past that mindset, I was able to finally start working on ME and only me. Sound selfish? Absolutely, but that’s because for the past 28.5 years, I was more selfless. This has still brought struggles. Due to my selfishness, I have had some speed bumps with family members and sadly…it’s cost the close relationship that I used to have. I hope that one day, that relationship will be back to where it was but I’m not going to force it. Forcing things to happen and how that doesn’t unfold the best result has been a lesson I’m still learning to this day. 1.5 years later, I’ll openly admit that I have sought out professional help, because it was for me! Admitting this, is where I’ve finally learned to squash the vulnerability. If I take away the ammo of others to break me down, all that is left is me! A confident and open me.
What I have learned through all this, is to embrace what you fear or what you believe others will see as your vulnerability. When you embrace it, you no longer allow others to take that vulnerability and use it against you.
Story Submitted by Erik