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I’ll keep it short…..

I held so much pain in my heart and soul for so long. Pain that didn’t allow me to go on or to grow as I should. From not trusting my own family, my blood, because when I was child my mom’s cousin molested me. To fearing any man that approached me. However, I was able to fall in love with one that I thought would never hurt me. We created two beautiful human beings. My pride and joy. I thought that no matter all the hard times we were facing, that we can do it together. Losing my identity to make all his dreams come true. But were was I? Lost in all of this, lonely, Facing so much without him really being there to comfort me. Everything fell apart. Instead of him holding onto his family, he turned his back to be with someone else. Leaving us without anything. He didn’t know or care about how I would feed our children or didn’t care to save the roof over our heads. Stopped paying our mortgage. I did want I had to. Sold my bedroom furniture, other things around the house, and my jewelry. We slept on the coach then on an air mattress. But it didn’t matter, ’cause I will do anything for my babies. Through all of this, I fell in love unexpectedly with a great friend (a woman) that showed me how to love myself and life again. However, she too broke my heart. Well, its okay. I can do this! That’s what I would say to myself through my pain, through my fears, through my tears, even though I didn’t truly believe it. Then after praying and praying, I started to feel peace and have faith. When I did, he came back into my life saying that he wanted to work things out. I believed him. Big mistake! He didn’t learn, he didn’t change. He came back and brought more pain into our lives. Although I’m going through an enormous amount of pain. I’m making moves to regain that peace and faith that I felt before. Not only for me, but for my children. I will no longer be in someone else’s shadow, I will no longer allow anyone to hurt me and use me. I decided to Stay; and continue my story. To a new book, not just a chapter…