Madeleine gave her twice-a-year presentation at school on Peru. For those of you who might have been following along, Bonnie Love and I went to Peru last year on a yoga retreat (it’s even where we got engaged). It was super exciting to be able to help her with part of the project and go through out photos and have her pick her favs. These are moments I really value with her.
Well, we recently we went to her school to watch her read her paper to the whole class and show them the giant tri-fold board that had pictures of us scattered throughout. I didn’t expect that when she got to the part about saying that we went there that she would only say “my mom went to Peru”. Not me. Just Bonnie. I also didn’t expect what it would feel like to get my feelings hurt by a 9 year old.
It took me a bit to process and to think about how I should communicate this. But the next morning I asked her to talk to me on the couch. I started by saying she wasn’t in trouble, but that I wanted to share some of my feelings and asked if that was ok with her. She obliged and my heart raced having to tell a 9 year old that she hurt my feelings. Almost instantly I could see the shame overcome her and she began to cry and fell into my lap. She apologized and cried more.
I explained that I wasn’t mad and that I knew she didn’t do it out of a bad place, but that I wanted to be honest with her about my feelings. I told her there will be times that I may hurt her feelings and I wanted her to know that it was always ok for her to talk to me about it. Not only did this teach me about what it was like to have a challenging conversation with someone (regardless of age), it taught me to lead by example. I watch these girls mimic the things we do, and I know that when they look to me I want to show them that it’s ok to tell people how we feel and to talk about things even when our heart races and it might feel like we could cry.
It’s ok to cry. ♥️ Bree Pear
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