My name is Sydney and I currently serve in the United States Navy. I joined in 2012 and have had many experiences since then. One of the most noteworthy being that I met my wife! In 2013, I married my high-school sweet heart because it was expected. We had dated on and off for 6 1/2 years and everyone assumed we were meant to be. I always felt unsure and made excuses for why I felt the way I did. I would end up telling myself, “every relationship is like this. This is as good as it will ever get.” I felt like I was missing something. I felt like I was unloveable. In 2014, I filed for divorce before I left on a scheduled 10 month deployment to the Middle East. My soon-to-be ex husband told me that he would not work because I made enough money for him not to. Basically, we wanted to be lazy and mooch off of me. That was the final straw. I felt unwanted, unloved, and unappreciated.
I deployed and decided I would make the best out of a crummy situation and focus on myself for once. I traveled to Hawaii, Guam, Singapore, Bahrain, Kuwait, United Arab Emirates, India, Qatar, and Australia. I loved every minute of it, especially the part where I figured out who I truly was: a lesbian. I always thought it was “taboo” to be gay due to being raised in southern Texas. I knew something was different when I admired women more than men, but played it off. My wife and I started out as friends, she was also going through a nasty divorce. We decided to be roommates when we got back and take on the town! Yes, we became roommates…..in a one bedroom apartment and became more than friends.
I came out to my brother first, and he reassured me that our parents would love me no matter what….and who I was with didn’t matter as long as I was happy. How could my family understand what I am still trying to figure out? Is this a phase? Am I gay? Am I bisexual? What am I? I was beyond frustrated. All I knew was that I was falling in love and that I didn’t need a label…..I was loved and in love and nothing else matters. We got engaged shortly after, got married a year and four months after we started dating, and now we are expecting our first child after having a successful IUI. Life is good. We decided not to live by labels, family/society expectations, or be something we don’t want to be. The stares, nasty comments, and looks of disgust don’t bother me anymore.
I have finally accepted who I am …..which is a strong, kind, hard working, loving, and slightly stubborn woman who is madly in love with another woman! We are about to move from San Diego to North Carolina to start the next chapter to our wonderful journey!!! Love is genderless. Love doesn’t have to be labeled. Love isn’t stereotypical. Love with all of your heart and soul……no matter how scary that might be. All of that starts with loving yourself first! Dare to love! Dare to be unique! Dare to be the best version of yourself you can be! Dare to be human!It took me 25 years to figure all of that out, but time doesn’t define when one is required to be sure about who they are and who they want to be!