It’s Not That Simple

It’s Not That Simple

I’m going to attempt to make a long story short here.

I was fortunate to grow up in a loving family. I was adopted from birth into an open adoption meaning I know my birth mother and my half-brother. I had a beautiful childhood as a spoiled only child. I was put into some less that fortunate situations as a young teen that morphed me into the person I am today. I came out to my parents when I was 16 years old. My mom took it for face value and my dad struggled with it. To be honest, I think he does to this day but won’t say anything to my face at least.

I was surrounded with societal reassures from where I grew up and I decided I was going to get out of that washed up rich town and join the Army. With the hopes of a new life on the horizon I got just that and a more than I bargained for. I jumped into a marriage with another woman and just as quick as I jumped in, I jumped right out. That alone caused of a whole mess in my military career. I had not only an ex-wife before I turned 21, but I had a whole slew of problems within my chain of command. With that being said I ended my military career because I refused to be silent about what happened.

As time went on, between hours of therapy I was finally living my life in a very gay friendly city. I was attending pride, going out, and living my life as my true self. I met the love of my life who lived hours away from me. In your typical U-Haul lesbian fashion, I moved down to live with her and start our lives. This all didn’t come without consequences. I now moved five hours away from the Pride capital of the state to a conservative farm town. I can’t live my life as who I am anymore because of fear of retaliation. Every day it frustrates me because it shouldn’t matter. We live as “roommates” and “friends” and it’s just so frustrating.

I currently work as a Firefighter/EMT working on my Paramedic certificate. I help people for a living and people don’t care if I’m straight or gay when I’m saving their life, so why should anybody else? This year for most has been one of the most challenging and difficult for myself and my relationship. I know that nothing worth having is easy. We are fortunately in a position to move within the next year to be able to get out and live our truth, but until then I think were stuck struggling. Struggling with the lies we have to tell people and ourselves. I just can’t wait to get back to living a life where we can grow as a couple and live honestly again.

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