How my dogs saved my life.

2016 was a rough year for most of us in the LGBT world.  This was one of the worst and best years of my life…and it has not a thing to do with politics.

I found myself not myself.  I was engaged to a person I didn’t even like.  Someone who depicted every aspect of my life.  I was working two jobs and they changed the schedule of both.  All of my things were somehow inferior and we’re therefore donated when I moved in with this person.

Slowly, I was no longer seeing my friends.  I had no life outside of the framework this particular person had setup for me.  Now…this is not me.  I have always been that fiercely independent woman who never needed another person to feel whole.

Yet, this happened to me.  It didn’t happen overnight, but it did.  I found myself in an abusive relationship to the point that we had sex when and how this person dictated.

In August of 2016 I packed up my dogs and moved across the country.  At first it wasn’t to get away…because this person was to join me a few months later.  A week into my new life and HOLY SHIT I REMEMBER WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE FREE.  I left them.  I sent my ring in the mail after telling this person I was done.

At that point I should have felt empowered.  I was starting a new life, a new career, a new me!  I wasn’t though.  I became horrifically introspective.  If none of these relationships have worked out, then what’s the common denominator?

Me.

Obviously I was the problem.  I was so lost and hopeless.  After a week of eating half a banana and maybe 6oz of water to survive…my eyes landed on the gun I was forced to bring when I packed my things.

This was the answer.  I was going to shoot myself through the head and everything would be done.

I walked over to the case and my three dogs (one of which has no eyes) RAN into me.  One dog literally threw my body to the ground.  The second licked my face until I stopped him.  The third just curled up next to my body on the floor.

Then it hit me.  If I died…what would happen to my dogs?

In 2016 my dogs saved my life.  I would have died that day if it weren’t for them.

Sometimes it’s a stranger. Sometimes it’s a sad looking cat in the alley…there is always a reason to stay.