IN_CONSTANT_REVISION

I’m Lyndsay. I am Human, just like you. I’m a writer and avid Only Human advocate, who is in constant revision with her life. And I share poetry on my page as a way to cope with the things I’ve been through.

Recently, I celebrated two years since being diagnosed as Bi-Polar-Depressant. And being hospitalized for it.

2 years of feeling completely lost
And beside myself.

2 years of intense ups & downs, (mostly downs) having no fucking idea why, or exactly what I was feeling/going through.

Everything hit all at once, and I was nowhere near able to handle it.

I had spent time feeling like I was on top of things for a while and then all of a sudden couldn’t get out of bed for days. Ignoring phone calls & texts.

I suffered suicidal thoughts that I could not understand. Thoughts that were not me at all.

I remember feeling this way at different points in college but never dealing with it. Over the last two years I dealt with it.

Most importantly, I Stayed. I did the work and figured it out. I got out of bed and kept moving forward in small steps.

My mental health took over my life for a while, but it didn’t take my life. It didn’t Win. I did. And I’ll continue to WIN everyday.

Growing up I had a pretty broken family and an abusive, narcissistic father. I’m the type to try to help and save others but for the longest time neglected myself. I didn’t feel I deserved to be happy. It was a constant struggle and my mental health became yet another battle…. that I SURVIVED.

I am now proud to say that I’m truly happy with where my life is now headed and am about to move and create a new life in Boston. I have my family, friends and most importantly myself to thank for that. ?

Feel free to follow me and my work on Instagram for regular poetry and prose.

Story submitted by Lyndsay.