My Glimpse In My Queer Life

What’s up beautiful people?

If you don’t know me, I’m Coach Tay. My pronouns are she/her/hers and I am a lesbian woman trying to make the best out of life with my beautiful wife, Kyani. I am a Health & Wellness Coach but not your typical “personal trainer.” I use my therapy background to focus on behavior changes for long term success of a holistic healthy lifestyle, while also focusing on bridging gaps for vulnerable populations who struggle with living a healthy lifestyle due to their race, economic status, or identity. Enough about that. I’m assuming if you’re reading this you’re apart of the LGBTQ+ community, that means you allies, we hear you & see you!

Okay back to it, my coming out story? My first memorable crush was Tariji P Hinson after watching some scene she sang over and over again, I thought it was the music but nah, it was her beauty  I had to have been no older than 11 or 12. Scary times.

Being raised in a heteronormative world, where “you’re so gay” was an insult, I couldn’t share this with anyone & I never did until dating got more serious. 7th grade was the first time I ever had a “girlfriend” & man it was super taboo at that time. I got caught and it was kind of like “let’s just not talk about it” type of thing with my parents. Until 9th grade, when it all went down hill.

I was caught again with a different girlfriend and was sent to a Christian therapist who attempted to “scare the gay out of me.” Throughout my entire high school career I was outed and lied my way back into the closet. It was painful having to hear a part of me was this horrible person that didn’t deserve happiness, peace, and acceptance. It was painful to feel like I was trying so hard to be a good friend, daughter, and human – but part of me was “disgusting, wrong, going to burn forever.”

After I left for college, I vowed to find my own truth and happiness, to fully accept myself regardless if ANYONE else accepts me. I didn’t do it alone, I had MANY many friends, mothers, mentors, and more help me along the way (you know who you are). But because of my past and trauma, I also vowed to be the lesbian that would scream happy pride but not too loud because people might put that pain on you again & it hurt too much!

Until one day, I met this beautiful women who gave zero, I mean ZERO craps about what other people think, my wife. This beautiful women who seamlessly walked on earth being her true self regardless. Lets just say, we lesbian U-Hauled it to Florida the next year  She fully accepted my masculinity and femininity all in one. I never had to hide any part of me – that & moving away from home truly allowed me to fully embody my gayness, masculinity , and femininity with no hesitations.

Who cares if someone thinks “I look gay!” Who cares if someone thinks “you’re too pretty to be gay!” That’s their own issue, not mine! I wish I could say my queer life has been all rainbows and acceptance like what the general population think Pride is about, but it hasn’t. My life has been full of EVERYTHING the month of June represents – LOVE, ACCEPTANCE, ADVOCACY, FIGHTING AGAINST DISCRIMINATION, FIGHTING FOR WHAT’s RIGHT, & DOING IT FOR THOSE BEHIND ME!

So yell it with me, HAPPY PRIDE BEAUTIFUL FOLX!