I knew at 7 that I liked women, but didn’t come into my complete truth until I was 58 in 2019. As I explored lesbianism, I identified as soft butch – living with an underlying feeling that, that identification wasn’t true. Growing up, some straight female friends would mentioned that they “wished I were male” because if so, they could fall in love with me….or some strange variation of that statement.
In the lesbian world, some of the types of women that would gravitate to me, were women who had been with men at some point…attracted to my Divine Masculine. All of which, were very foreign to me at the time. I have always just seen myself as me…an outwardly, yet introverted, awkward Aquarian with no game…lol. As I and the world of gender and sexuality matured, I discovered that I was shifting energetically and spiritually. When in public, it would be assumed that I was male. Whether my hair was short, long or loc’d. Whether you could see the breasts or not, people identified me as male. Which for a time irritated me because I felt people weren’t seeing me, but in truth – they were seeing me for exactly who I am….a spiritual being having a trans experience.
I don’t subscribe to all the labels out today nor can I keep up with them. I started my trans journey last year and have been on T for 8 months. I struggle with breast dysphoria, but I know this too shall past and top surgery will happen. I am grateful for all the things that have brought me to my full truth and I stand ready to continue to fight for freedom and justice for my trans and black siblings and for the rest of the world. I am living my best life as a black trans man and I pray we see permanent and positive changes in our communities and around the world and I will continue to stand in my truth, even if I have to stand alone, so others may stand in theirs, because after all, it’s never too late.