Rocky road

I knew for years… I knew at some point it was all going to come out. It’s something that was weighing on, not only my heart, but my life. Thinking to even tell people I was gay was going to be the hardest thing I ever had to do. When my family saw gay marriage or a gay couple, the first thing out of their mouths was “oh my god” “why is that even allowed?” It was something that was going to be the hardest thing I would ever have to do. Who would I lose? Who wouldn’t accept me for me? Those are all the questions I knew might change my entire life.

The moment I came out to my parents it was extremely uncomfortable. My dad instantly said, “how am I suppose to have grandchildren, do you know what this does to us?” …. as he looked and walked away from me. My mom didn’t even really know what to say; she instantly got quiet. Right then I knew I might have completely messed up my relationship with my parents. I was at loss for words and confused as to why they would act like this. I was and am still me.

I went months not knowing if they would ever accept me. I used to hear my dad say “I’ll never be a grandfather, how is she going to do this and move forward with a girlfriend.” It broke my heart. I’d sit there and not know what to do other than to go on walks by myself for years to just escape my pain from it.

Years later, finally my mother came to realize I am always the Katelyn I was and I never changed one bit. My father, on his death bed, instantly looked at me a few days before he passed and said, “Katelyn I accept you for who you are and I know you will find someone who loves you so much,” and right then and there I knew my heart was at ease.

I lost family, friends, and many people out of it but I knew in my heart that all I needed was my parents to know I was just Katelyn.

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Story submitted by Katelyn.