My life has always been defined by pain and loss. I experienced traumatic physical and sexual abuse at a very young age; after my mom’s death I went to live with my bio dad, who had a long history of abusing others. And as long as I can remember, death has been an intimate companion in one form or another. I’ve lost so many close friends and family members – as early as 7 years old – that I’ve developed a lot of anxieties around getting close to others, or letting others get close to me. There isn’t a decade of my life I haven’t lost at least 1-2 loved ones.
The loss that almost broke me was my son. In 2014, after only 3 months of aggressive treatment, my Joe succumbed to his battle with cancer. I got pretty close to the brink of insanity; for close to 2 years I fought against depression and suicidal ideation. First thing that saved my life was yoga.
I’ve always been a very active person but there wasn’t much I could do daily as I sat by his hospital bed. Doing yoga made me feel calmer, and satisfied the need to DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING, since I couldn’t fix him. Once I started yoga, I immediately found meditation. Somehow, it just came about organically for me, but I’m so grateful. The combination of yoga and meditation has given me so much serenity and inner peace. I felt an actual shift in my energy this past year…
I’m more focused, less sad. I’ve started thinking about the future again. I sought out kindred souls, and I came across Only Human on IG. The positive vibes I felt looking at the pictures and reading the stories drew me in so intensely! I need to learn more about this movement. At 53, I’ve gotten to a point in my life that I only want to surround myself with good humans (and my two fur babies lol). It’s so easy to get caught up in today’s negativity, but I’d rather choose happiness.
Story submitted by Rose
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