We have always seen Pride as a celebration of our struggle to find out who we truly are. Before starting a family, we always attended the San Francisco Pride Pink Party on Castro every year and then watched the Pride Parade the next day. This was before we started dating and were only friends. At this celebration, we were able to be ourselves and meet other people just like us – finding acceptance.
Now that we are married and have a family, Pride celebrations mean so much more about the struggle and being accepted. We have brought our first born, Estelle, to San Francisco Pride, Maui Pride, Seattle Pride & Sacramento Pride. Celebrating Pride now is all about the success we have made in building our family.
One of the major issues that was always pointed out when coming out is – How are you going to create a family and have kids? There weren’t many resources for our community back in 2011. Thank goodness for the power of social media – specifically, YouTube. We connected with other couples just like us. We were our own support channel. It is definitely an emotional journey that no one really prepared us for.
We both went through two different ways of trying to conceive. Monica went through a home insemination using a known donor. Jing went through a fertility clinic using an anonymous donor through a cryo bank. We vlogged both journeys in hopes that it would be a great resource for any couple trying to build a family. We spoke about our pregnancy failures, financial issues, insurance coverage issues, fertility treatments and hormones, IUI, & IVF.
Fast forward to now, and the amount of resources and same sex families that are out there is phenomenal. The past couple of Pride celebrations were about acknowledging other families like ours. We fought and struggled to create this. We are hoping that the LGBTQ+ youth has more confidence in coming out knowing that they are able to create a family if they choose to.